Roper F. Klacks' memoir of his time as an evil wizard, written while he was trapped in April Ryan's calculator. It contains sections such as "The Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Build A Flying Castle" (p. 42) . However, during the printing process, a charm got caught on page 108, and every time that page was read, the book exploded. Klacks claims this was a complete accident... and besides, he has now been cleared of all charges.
This means that the copy Klacks owns is the only one in existence (p. 108 is "decharmed". Therefore, it is a valuable addition to the Dark People's Library, enough so that April is able to use it to barter passage on a Shadow Ship. Klacks is reluctant to hand it over, but when April convinces him that his work will be immortalised in the greatest library in Arcadia, he gladly lets her take it.
(N.B.: Klacks doesn't have a middle name - he just thought the initial looked better on the cover.)
Known contents: Edit
- p. 42: "The Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Build A Flying Castle"
- p. 108: (formerly charmed to spontaneously combust upon reading)
- When Klacks gives April his copy of the memoirs he tells her "There you go. Treat it with care. Don't let it get wet. Don't feed it red meat. And for the love of the Balance, do not hold it upside down when there's a full moon!". This is a parody of the rules regarding Mogwai in the film Gremlins (1984): "Heed these three warnings: Don't ever get him wet. Keep him away from bright light. And the most important thing, the one thing you must never forget: no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs... never, never feed him after midnight."
- When you select it, the book is labeled "My Wizardin' Days Are Over"